Do I Still Deserve Your Love

I was with you all the time
Not for you needing me, but
I needing you

You pampered me
caressed me
loved me, from the deep of your 
Heart...

Suddenly things changed
I started getting more and more
Demanding
You started more and more
Giving
both getting 
Endless 
Limitless

I started 
Negotiating
Demanding
Bargaining
You started
Giving
Giving
Giving

Meanings changed for
Both of us
You started giving more and more
just in hope that one day
I might realize and return
I started getting into
losing my esteem and in return
getting away from you...

Do I still deserve you
Do I still deserve your love
You still ignore what all is gone
I keep going more into it
losing, fearing, derailing...

You still have a hope...
I find no ray of hope...
Probably something within me
has darkened around taking away
all the light...
You still keep lighting candles
in hope of removing that 
Darkness in me...