Sunday, December 14, 2014

#RiseAboveFear: A Self Confession

More than 89% of risks taken in life by people are out of fear, it is said. Courage is responsible for the rest 11%. It is sheer fear that fastens your adrenaline, make your brain work faster and grill down some new ideas and jump into the unknown territories of something you have never done, or attempted to do. Any new attempt might end into shambles but then once you build yourself to take up the challenge and go for it, then probably it is sure that the fear is gone, and the chances of winning the hurdle which was 0% earlier has now taken a considerable figure leading to 100%.

I had many fears, right since my childhood, and probably every one of us has, though the intensity and volume of fear varies and so is the cause. I might have many fears to reveal that if I tell today, might lead to a big laughter among so many. It might be a funny thing to hear today. So some fears stay with you life-long, some come and go along with the time. Interesting part is that it is YOU who has to take a call, how soon you want to get rid of your fears - the earlier the better.

I used to have a fear from crowd during my teens, or rather it was there before that but I identified it later. Or more reasonably, it might have got triggered with some childhood instance and kept building up with the time and more similar kind of instances. Any place, any time, any moment, whenever I used to face more than 2-3 persons – within family, friends, or among strangers; I used to get into a shell, feeling myself insignificant than others, assuming that I am not as good as anyone in the world and everyone else is more equipped and capable of doing things better than me. I used to fumble, go speechless or go out of ideas on what to speak, even in general talks, and mostly I was totally blank on how to move on. The more I did this, the more fear grew within with a firm notion – that whatever I am thinking – is not merely my thinking, it is a fact. It was a total building up of no-confidence state.

The worst thing was that I could not discuss my fear with anyone in family or among friends. I was being termed as ‘shy’ guy. I started avoiding any kind of meetings and gatherings – be it a party, ceremony or any other such kind of occasion. I kept thinking on, though, that whether it is a disease that only I am carrying, or it persists among others too. But I was never able to express these things to anyone. It was going to madden me to an extent that one day I decided to break the barriers and get this invisible shell broken. I decided to buy wings from God to fly on my own. I decided to get out of this self-imposed fear.

I bought a guitar, and started learning it. I started discussing my favorite books that I read, with others having similar interests of reading books, known or strangers. The music helped me in building my confidence and practice made me a perfect guitarist. With the motivation from my friends and family, I started participating in music festivals and competitions and soon become a known guitarist. Probably it was the music strings that broke the fear within me and gave me courage to excel, anytime, anywhere.
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